Have you ever been asked about what you want and realised you weren’t sure? I’m not talking about dinner menus or plans for the weekend, but about life: where you’re headed, what you want to do, who you want to become. So many of us are going through the motions, showing up to our assigned roles, managing relationships, checking off tasks. The bigger picture might be blurry.
I see this all the time in my work, and I have felt it myself. What I’ve found helps, and what research backs up, is the act of deliberately constructing a vision of where you want to go. Some people would do this by jumping right to goals or to-do lists, but I’m talking about starting with something simpler, which is imagining what you would consider your ‘best possible self’.
The best possible self (or BPS) exercise was introduced by Laura King in the early 2000s, and researchers have found that it produces significant boosts in positive mood and optimism. It has become one of positive psychology’s most replicated interventions. It’s one that I’ve used, with some adaptation, in my own counselling work. I’ll get into the details below, but the core practice involves writing about your life in the near future, when things have gone remarkably well. The focus is not on someone else’s vision of success or what you think you should want, but your best possible life as you imagine it.
One of the things this exercise does is focus your attention. Many of us spend a lot of mental energy scanning for problems or replaying failures or disappointments. When you practise the best possible self exercise, you’re deliberately redirecting your attention. You’re giving your brain practice at envisioning things going well. People report feeling more optimistic as a result of doing this.
When you imagine your best possible self, you’re likely to generate some positive emotions, and research indicates that, aside from feeling good, these can broaden your thinking and increase cognitive flexibility. The positive emotions that flow from imagining a positive future could make it easier to spot pathways you would otherwise overlook and increase the motivation to pursue them.
Thinking about the future in this way can also crystallise what you value. It’s surprisingly hard to articulate what you actually want until you’re forced to describe it in detail. What does a fulfilling day look like? Who are you with? How do you behave? The specificity required by the exercise cuts through the fog.
My sense is that all these effects work together. You’re building a coherent, emotionally resonant vision of a future that you value. As that vision starts to take shape, decisions become clearer. I’ve worked with many clients using the best possible self exercise, and witnessed powerful changes in how they live. Someone who is offered a high-profile but misaligned project at work is able to ask: ‘Does this move me toward my best possible self?’ – and the answer is likely to come quickly.
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